Why We Didn’t Invite Anyone To Our Wedding

1 (2).jpgOn April 8th 2015, on a small bridge in Gettysburg Pennsylvania, I married my best friend.

This may sound like a normal small ceremony, but there was something that really made our ceremony stand out from other small weddings that I had read about… We invited No One.

When we told our families our plans, we upset quite a few people. This was absolutely not our intentions. Our decision had nothing to do with anyone, but us. Two years later, we are still could not be happier about our choice. Here’s why…

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1. We wanted a Marriage, not just a Wedding

We knew that we wanted to marry each other. There was no clique engagement, no surprise ring. We would be laying in our bed together, talking about our future and we both just felt mutual about wanting to spend the rest of our lives together. That one special day wasn’t what either of us wanted, we wanted every single day of our lives to be special because we got to spend them together.

2. We Saved Money

We were both young, we had not established any savings. The last thing either of us wanted to do was go into debt just to provide our friends and family with one special day that they wanted more then we did. We had our daughter, Abigail, that we needed to provide for. We agreed that there were so many realistic things that we would rather spend our money on. We spent less then $1000 on everything.

3. We Avoided Hurting Anyone’s Feelings

My husband and I both come from very different backgrounds. Long story-short, he has a lot of family and I barely have any. In the very beginning, we attempted to put together a guest list. We ran into the issue of hurting people’s feelings very early in the process. We tried to make things “fair”. For example, if we invited his parents, we needed to invite mine… Well, problem is, I don’t have parents. The person that I would consider my “Mom” is technically a family friend. So would we need to invite a family friend on my husband’s side? This problem went on with all of the people we were going to invite. We decided that it was better to not invite anyone, then to hear about how we had hurt someone’s feelings because they were not invited, but the equivalent on the other side of our family was.

4. No Pressure

There was absolutely no stress during our wedding day. There was no anxiety getting ready, there was no chaos getting there. I did not need to feel the pressure of looking perfect walking down the aisle. I did not need to feel insecure thinking about what other people thought of how I looked. It was just my best friend and me!

5. Intimate

The whole point of a wedding is to celebrate us, our connection, and our future, right? What better was to do that then to solely focus on each other.

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So How Did We Do It?

  • The Dress-

    I found my dress on clearance at a local bridal store. I picked a dress that did not need huge alterations and I could not have been happier.

  • The Flowers-

    I went to my local grocery store, picked up some flowers, and made my own small bouquets! I am not a florist, but nothing needed to be perfect. There was no way that flowers were going to be able to ruin Matthew and my special day!

    10981434_486474008168338_1294165187213725987_n                       11116487_486474361501636_6052157566147823798_n

  • My Hair and Make-up-

    I am very fortunate to have a close friend who is a self-taught Make Up Artist (TheAimeeNicole MUA), who applied my makeup and assisted me with my hair. She did an amazing job making me feel so beautiful and special that day!

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  • Photographer

    ReAnna EveLynn at Porcelain Photography did all of our photographs, editing, and prints for a GREAT deal! She was excellent to work with and I mean, just look at this gorgeous pictures she took throughout this post?!

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  • Child Care

    Our babysitter, Tiffany, was kind enough to help us with our daughter throughout the day! She watched her while we got ready, she held her and kept her entertained during the ceremony, and even acted silly to get some smiles out of her for our pictures!

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  • Our Officiant

    As I grew up going to church, I had grown very close to Pastor Timothy Kielley. He was thrilled when I asked him to officiate our wedding and without hesitation he had our date penciled into his schedule. The only thing that he asked for, in return for officiating, was a picture of him and I. Unfortunately, Pastor Kielley passed away in 2016.

 

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Looking Back…

Now that we are a little older, we have had family members and friends get married around us. Neither of us feel like we have missed out. We continue to feel very happy about our decision and that day felt perfect to us. After our wedding, we went to get pizza and we headed home so that I could rest before my overnight shift I was working that night. We did not follow any of the wedding standards and we are okay with that!

This is not to bash anyone who dreams of or wants a huge wedding! Matthew and I really enjoy to attend weddings. Instead, this is to support other couples that feel the pressure of having a wedding to please the people around you. The bottom line is, this is YOUR day. Do what makes YOU happy!

This post is dedicated to my husband, Matthew, on our 2nd anniversary this week.

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Thanks for reading! -Emily

16 Replies to “Why We Didn’t Invite Anyone To Our Wedding”

  1. What a great story! I give you and Matthew a lot of credit for all you have done and how you are handling your life and your children. Happy 2nd Anniversary. Stay Happy and Love Each Other forever and ever. Love, Aunt Cynthia

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is awesome! Seriously – our wedding was so big and overwhelming that I think if we redid it we would make sure no one was there. You looked amazing and I love that you stood your ground despite your family wanting to be there. Happy (belated) anniversary!!

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. I loved this! Ill be married this july.. civil wedding of 38 people including us (5 ppl). We aren’t having any reception afterwards, and there’s a lot of talk about that. But we have been together for 10 yrs and this is a special moment for us. There’s a reason were finally at this mark and its not about anyone else. Ugh i wish we didnt care about hurting feelings..id rather just do it with just my little family and witnesses required.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Congratulations! I wish you the best on your day in July! I understand exactly what you mean when you say “There’s a reason we’re finally at this mark and it’s not about anyone else”. That is exactly how we felt, as well. Thank you for reading! I am glad that you can relate!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great photos! It is so true about not wanting to hurt people’s feelings. It is so hard to figure out where to draw the line on both sides!

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  6. А я думал в ресторане обдирают до нитки =)[]madonna4ka Re€‘Â:СенÑy‚ÃlÐ±ÑÂpь 30th, 2011 at 20:01Ну это ведь картошка, ей только мундиры и дарят. Потому как в ней очень много всего полезного остаётся. [] Reply:Сентябрь 30th, 2011 at 20:37Да мне казалось, что с нее снимают его ))[]madonna4ka Reply:Сентябрь 30th, 2011 at 20:41Она у меня особенная картошка, вот ей и подарили.:-)[]

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